7th: 365 reasons to be an adult

After ending up in Eldorado again, this time to buy some girl goods cos Mari and Lana are visiting today, I decided to have a coffee in Benjamin’s. The orfeu coffee was full bodied and tasty.

I think that one of the things that has been confusing and holding me back is my understanding of the smile. I use the smile as my automatic way of judging if a person is nice and good or bad for me. I have had zero success with this. I think it was cos I was too self insecure that the smile was the immediate comfort, all else forgotten. Existence of a nuance is so black and white contradictory , mind freeze prefered.

I don’t believe I have relationships either personal or professional which help me grow in the directions I want to grow. This is because I’ve been to scared to do things I like to do. A man on FIRE can do what he wants so why did I always feel like I was doing nothing ? Cos I was doing nothing I liked. I like writing my thoughts on paper. I have to develop this now seriously.

Self worth issues etc. I like coffee but living a caffeine lifestyle 247 doesn’t suit me now . Still, first thing in the morning I need my coffee.